Marriage? What does it really mean?
AS STATED BY THE URBAN DICTIONARY: It has three phases: lust (when you are newlyweds) rust and dust. Which phase is your marriage in? Marriage is taken way too lightly in our society. Most people don’t realize that marriage is the hardest commitment for anyone to make. People often treat marriage as a convenience rather than a covenant, thinking how they can benefit from marriage rather than how to meet the needs of your spouse. Anyone with half a brain and $50 for a license can get married but it takes real commitment to make it work. The problem with successful marriage today is:
1.PRECONCEIVED NOTIONS OF WHAT IT WILL BE LIKE MIXED WITH POOR PREPARATION/PLANNING: It amazes than any state will make you study for a time to get a drivers license but will instantly grant a marriage license for $50 and a blood test to any nieve couple stupid enough to marry, having the ability to ruin lives of future children and themselves if it goes wrong. The couple thinks all will be happily ever after and they will have a perfect family and live in the burbs with white, picket fences. They are willing to say their “I do’s” at the altar without knowing what to do when the honeymoon is over and adversity and trials begin. You marry a sweet girl or nice guy at the altar and then, when they honeymoon is over and you return home, the person’s real colors come out. Most couples don’t discuss their goals for the marriage or even WHY they are getting married. They don’t discuss issues of how they will raise their children, where they will live, how to budget their income, etc. Failed marriages are often the result of poor planning because the couple has not yet discovered, until it is too late, that they are not compatible for marrying each other.
2. LACK OF COMMUNICATION. It amazes me that we have invented technology for men on earth to talk to men on the moon but cant figure out how a couple can communicate at the dinner table. A bride-to-be doesn’t discuss with her husband-to-be (or vice versa) what their needs are, what irritates her, what her sexual needs are, how they feel, how they relate to each other, their weaknesses, strengths, etc. They feel as though their emotional nudity will result in rejection. But communication is mandatory if you want to get to know the person with whom will spend the rest of your life.
FALLING IN LOVE IS NOT A REASON TO GET MARRIED. Any hormone-driven Harry can fall for anything in a skirt with lipstick and highheels. You can’t live on love because what are you going to do when you don’t feel as though you are in love with your spouse at any time? There has to be more than love to proceed to marriage—a plan needs to be created. You need to determine what you want to accomplish in your future marriage and not just jump into it because you have the urge to merge. Ask yourself, “why am I wanting to marry this person?” As I said, there MUST be a goal or it WILL fail.
Marriage today has become a failed institution because our society has failed to “learn how to be married.” People take it too light and treat it as a convenience rather than a spiritual covenant. Marriage is in awesome institution when it works but can be devastating to lives when it doesn’t.
YOU MUST KNOW WHAT YOU ARE GETTING INTO AND WITH WHOM BEFORE WALKING DOWN THE ISLE WITH YOUR CINDERELLA/PRINCE CHARMING.
1.PRECONCEIVED NOTIONS OF WHAT IT WILL BE LIKE MIXED WITH POOR PREPARATION/PLANNING: It amazes than any state will make you study for a time to get a drivers license but will instantly grant a marriage license for $50 and a blood test to any nieve couple stupid enough to marry, having the ability to ruin lives of future children and themselves if it goes wrong. The couple thinks all will be happily ever after and they will have a perfect family and live in the burbs with white, picket fences. They are willing to say their “I do’s” at the altar without knowing what to do when the honeymoon is over and adversity and trials begin. You marry a sweet girl or nice guy at the altar and then, when they honeymoon is over and you return home, the person’s real colors come out. Most couples don’t discuss their goals for the marriage or even WHY they are getting married. They don’t discuss issues of how they will raise their children, where they will live, how to budget their income, etc. Failed marriages are often the result of poor planning because the couple has not yet discovered, until it is too late, that they are not compatible for marrying each other.
2. LACK OF COMMUNICATION. It amazes me that we have invented technology for men on earth to talk to men on the moon but cant figure out how a couple can communicate at the dinner table. A bride-to-be doesn’t discuss with her husband-to-be (or vice versa) what their needs are, what irritates her, what her sexual needs are, how they feel, how they relate to each other, their weaknesses, strengths, etc. They feel as though their emotional nudity will result in rejection. But communication is mandatory if you want to get to know the person with whom will spend the rest of your life.
FALLING IN LOVE IS NOT A REASON TO GET MARRIED. Any hormone-driven Harry can fall for anything in a skirt with lipstick and highheels. You can’t live on love because what are you going to do when you don’t feel as though you are in love with your spouse at any time? There has to be more than love to proceed to marriage—a plan needs to be created. You need to determine what you want to accomplish in your future marriage and not just jump into it because you have the urge to merge. Ask yourself, “why am I wanting to marry this person?” As I said, there MUST be a goal or it WILL fail.
Marriage today has become a failed institution because our society has failed to “learn how to be married.” People take it too light and treat it as a convenience rather than a spiritual covenant. Marriage is in awesome institution when it works but can be devastating to lives when it doesn’t.
YOU MUST KNOW WHAT YOU ARE GETTING INTO AND WITH WHOM BEFORE WALKING DOWN THE ISLE WITH YOUR CINDERELLA/PRINCE CHARMING.
Well I'm married. Been married almost 2 months. Wow I'm a wife; I have a husband now want to hear the awful part. I have only seen my husband 4 days so far of this marriage. I am sure I have talked to him like a dozen times only these two months. It’s hard, in fact I hate it. I want to see my husband every day. So here is how the newlywed stage of our marriage is going to go. We get married and I deploy we spend one year apart in which we get to see each other for 2 weeks for my R&R (which is the longest we have spent together) oh that is so sad, and then I get home and my husband (my knight in shining armor) won’t even be there instead he will be deployed himself and then we will spend another year apart where we will see each other another two weeks for his R&R. so what a total of maybe 36 days out of two years. The man I have fallen head over heels in love with I will only get to kiss, to sleep next to, to make love to, to fuck like an animal for 36 days. What the fuck am I doing? And now I think wow I haven’t even spent an entire 2 weeks with this man and we are married. We have had a long distance relationship since the beginning, but it worked and it worked fine. We never lived together, we never went on a vacation together, we never did a lot of things, but we love each other. And that’s supposed to be enough right? Love never ends, love never fails us. Love is supposed to heal all, fix all, make everything work. Love is well what we all search for isn’t it?
So I have found love. I have found the man of my dreams who melts me and makes my knees weak. The man who’s kisses make me tingle all over and send my head spinning. But here I am writing this wondering what the fuck I am doing being married when I swear I can’t even tell I am. I feel like my husband is a million miles away which he is. In fact I feel like he is on a different planet and he is. I wish I knew what he was doing with his days; I wish I could remember how he smelled. How sweet his kisses where. But I can’t it has been way to long since I’ve seen him. I miss him, I miss his presence. And I'm writing this to the endless internet world where no one will read it. No one will know my pain, no my worries. And I would love to tell my husband this but it never comes across the same when you type someone your feelings, they read it and take it another way. And I love him, I want to spend the rest of my life with him, I want to have his kids, see him get old, I want every bit of life with him and then some. I want that happy marriage where you’re 50 and still so in love that people around you are jealous. But right now I have none of that, I have an amazing man who is somewhere else, who knows who is getting his attention now. What might happen after two years of this? What if one of us strays. I mean the man had girls before me, hes great in bed, and well he was dating like 2 freaking chicks right before he started seeing me. I don’t even know anything about his past relationships. I don’t even honestly know how many girls he has slept with but I don’t care, all I care about is that he will be there when I come home. That he won’t stray elsewhere. That he will be faithful to me and love me and my daughter. I just hope this works. That we don’t become another statistic, that we can look back and say this was worth it. I would hate to tell him one day that we lost each other due to the army. That we lost the great thing we had for what? To feel proud of serving in a time of “war”. So I don’t know anything. I don’t know what is the meaning of life. I don’t know who I am right now or where I will be next year or the next. I know I want to be home with my family. I want to have my life back and I want this over and I want someone to know all this. So hello virtual nothing. Have a good day.
