Well it’s a new day. a new day where I slept all day long no lie. I went to bed sometime after 6am and slept till 7 pm this evening. Awe I need a new sleep schedule or maybe a less depressing job. Ad I realized how hard it is to buy children’s clothes over the internet without seeing them. I was on a search to find cute jammies and undies for my little girl. And hell did I have a long day trying to find them but eventually I found some. And hell when did they start charging so much for kid’s clothes, holy shit? Thought adult clothes were bad fuck kids wearing them only for a few months before they grow again. And here goes my internet again not working. You would think they could least have working internet for us being over here putting our life’s on the line. But no. no luck there. I am about to throw my damn laptop out the door because this internet is so frustrating. Damn you technology! And damn you desert for sucking me into your depressive fury. Ok better go before I lose my head in this lose-lose fight.
Well I'm adding to this post since my internet shit the bed and I couldn’t post it earlier. I'm in one of those negative (as usual) modes. And I'm so sick of girls. Not females but young immature girls who can’t keep their stories straight and ask you what do you have to be depressed about? What do I tell you for one I'm not out whoring myself out here getting what you think is “love” from every guy possible, two I have better things to do then act happy and pretend I'm stupid all day, and three I have a family back home and don’t need this to know how much they mean. Oh some peoples kids I tell you! What is there to do? I wish I knew. I wish I had every answer for every damn question I have in this fucked up mind of mine. But instead I sit here and write to who? No one because no one reads theses, no one even knows I exist half the time.
You know that tiny little grain of sand you can’t get out of your shoes from the beach? Well that’s me in this world, in this army, in this desert. I have always been one of those easily down people, I didn’t drink or party or do drugs in high school hell not even in the year of college I did. I didn’t sleep around or cause trouble, hell I was a decent enough kid. And now now my inner rebel wants to jump out here and be noticed. Be someone to someone, be the person people like want to hang out with. But I'm too depressed, to down, to sad to be that person, instead I'm the one who gets forgotten and left out and it’s really sad. But maybe I am used to that, maybe I bring it on to myself. Someone fucking save me! Please save me from myself before I jump off the deep end. Thanks
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